He's retarded.

I am getting some new students. Three to be exact. One will start tomorrow, one will start in April, and one's start date is to be determined (I am hoping for next year). We had the IEP meeting today for the one who will begin tomorrow.

He moved here at the beginning of February and they thought that the other self-contained class would be sufficient. Unfortunately, it was not a good match. He displays a lot of autistic tendencies and disruptive behaviors and they were unable to manage those behaviors. In addition to that, he appears to lack a lot of basic skills. The other self-contained class is low enough to be self-contained, but the kids read chapter books, do science experiments, change classrooms independently, etc. My new little guy couldn't quite keep up with that.

In the IEP, there is something called the Present Levels of Academic Performance. This is supposed to be where you discuss all of your student's strengths. You may casually mention an area of weakness, but it's generally a place to brag about what the student can do. As other team members went over it, I realized that there was not a single positive comment in it. If I were his mother, I would start crying when I read it. It was incredibly sad to me. I would never think of writing so many negative things about a student on one piece of paper. It was almost as though the other teacher was venting! So, we started off the meeting discussing about how (student name) was not successful in the current setting. Then, for some reason, we moved to the IQ testing portion of the IEP. An IEP team member continued to say, "His IQ is 42, that is in the mentally retarded range. He will always be limited. That's why he's having trouble in the classroom." Every time she said, "retarded," it just made me cringe. It was unreal. And I'm not even his mother.

His mom said to the IEP team, "I will not accept that my child is 'retarded.' Learning disabled, yes. Retarded, no. I think that is you telling me that he can never learn. That he can never be somebody. My boy can be somebody."

I can't imagine what it would be like to have a child with disabilities, let alone see on paper that your kid's IQ is 42. After this, a team member pulled out some book that discussed the definition of each disability. They showed the mother the definition of cognitive impairment and explained that her child was mentally retarded. Again. They would not stop talking about how he "was retarded!" Come on, people! We're teachers! We're a school! We're supposed to be teaching, learning, sharing, making progress! Not hanging on to the fact that there's a number on a paper! Then it was mentioned that he will, "always be limited" and "always have great difficulties with basic skills," because of this "retardation."

Mom just looked at the floor with tears in her eyes. Team members continued to tell her what her child could not do. They mentioned that "because of this" they would be placing him in the Autism Spectrum Disorders program. They made it sound like a sentence! That's definitely not the way to get a parent to even consider a future placement. She immediately said, "Not my boy. No way. I won't have it. I think he will be more autistic if you put him in there!"

I politely spoke up and I said, "I know that all of this is incredibly hard to hear. I think that we are all here because we are trying to do what is best for (student name). I think there is a certain stigma that may be attached to ASD programs, but it's often because people don't know what actually goes on inside the classroom. It's a very individualized environment. I have high expectations for all of my students. I set the bar very high for them. Just because there is a number on a piece of paper does not mean that will determine what a child can or cannot do. I think that with the proper supports, (student name) can make a lot of progress. We just have to give him what he needs to be successful."

She looked up, hopefully, and said, "I like that you set high expectations. Tell me more."

I explained that we are working on reading, writing, money, social skills, and all of the things that the kids need to be independent in society. I talked about our twice weekly community based instruction trips and she was thrilled. She said, "you learn about money while you're at McDonalds? What a great idea."

She signed the IEP.

I'm not sure whether the other team members even have an idea of how negative the meeting sounded, but as a teacher of students who are consistently labeled, "retarded" and "slow," I felt very awkward hearing all of the comments that were being said. I continue to be amazed with how "in the dark ages" my school seems to be.

After the meeting, my supervisor said, "You win an Oscar for that performance." (I am certain she was trying to compliment me, because they were concerned that Mom would not agree to the placement, and they would surely be in a pickle if that was the case). I said, "That was not a performance, that was just me."

I am hopeful that (student name) will have a great first day tomorrow. I will set the bar high for him. His mom told me that nobody has ever taught him how to read, because they think he is "too limited." We will teach him to read. We'll do way more than that. We're going to help her boy "be somebody." We will not even consider the fact that he has an IQ of 42. That information is not something that we get stuck on.

We work hard. We learn a lot. We have fun. We don't let other people stand in our way.

We achieve success daily.